DRIVING LIKE BORIS YELTSIN, SMALL TESTICLES AND EATING YOUR OWN BRAIN. WHAT LACK OF SLEEP REALLY DOES TO YOU
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In a world where grinding 24/7 is glorified, it’s easy to convince yourself that skimping on sleep isn’t a big deal. Do you pride yourself on getting by with five hours a night? Do you think you’ll ‘catch up’ on the weekend? We all know sleep has many benefits. It helps with health, mood, and both mental and physical performance. But what happens when you don’t get enough? Let’s take a look at the side effects of sleep deprivation.
1. LACK OF SLEEP SHRINKS YOUR BALLS
It’s true. A study from the University of Chicago found that sleep-deprived men, who sleep less than five hours a night, have much smaller testicles and lower sperm counts. Researchers compare this to men who sleep 7-8 hours a night. Also, the same study shows your testosterone levels drop to those of a man ten years older. Ouch.
[Study: Leproult & Van Cauter (2011), JAMA]
2. YOUR BRAIN STARTS EATING ITSELF
You know how sleep clears out toxins in your brain? Well, if you don’t get enough, your brain cells go overboard and start devouring healthy brain tissue. Researchers know this process as astrocytic phagocytosis. It’s linked to dementia and cognitive decline. Your brain literally cannibalises itself. Sweet dreams indeed.
[Study: Bellesi et al. (2017), Journal of Neuroscience]
3. YOUR PAIN TOLERANCE DROPS BY ALMOST 25%
After a rough night, your brain's pain centres kick into high gear while your natural painkillers fade away. One study found that just one night of bad sleep slashes your pain tolerance by 24%. Which makes us think Rocky Balboa must have hit the pillow just as hard as the heavy bag.
[Study: Krause et al. (2019), Journal of Neuroscience]
4. YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM CRASHES
A study found that sleep affected how people reacted to the common cold virus. Those who slept less than six hours were 4.2 times more likely to get sick. Sleep also affects how effective vaccines are. When you do not get enough sleep, you are more likely to catch whatever is going around.
[Study: Prather et al. (2015), Sleep]
5. YOUR DRIVE LIKE BORIS YELTSIN
After 17 to 19 hours without sleep, your reaction time and thinking skills drop to the level of someone with a blood alcohol content of 0.05%. Push it to 24 hours? You’re at 0.10%. That’s about twice the legal driving limit in Ireland. If you only have four to five hours of sleep, it increases your risk of crashing by 430%.
[Study: Dawson & Reid (1997), Nature]
6. YOUR BODY STARTS TO ROT FROM THE INSIDE OUT
Chronic sleep loss increases cortisol, the stress hormone. This hormone breaks down collagen, which can cause wrinkles, dull skin, and faster aging. Your gut lining gets leaky. This lets toxins and bacteria enter your bloodstream, which causes inflammation. A slow internal decay, you might say, much like season 8 of Games of Thrones.
[Study: Guyon et al. (2014), Nature Communications]
7. YOUR BRAIN CANT TELL WHAT’S REAL OR NOT
Go without sleep long enough, and your brain starts glitching. At 24+ hours, microsleeps occur—your brain randomly shuts down for a few seconds. Push past 48 hours, and you’ll start hallucinating. Sounds, shapes, voices, the ‘sunlit uplands’ of Brexit.
[Study: Waters et al. (2018), Journal of Sleep Research]
MORAL OF THE STORY
Not getting enough sleep isn’t a badge of honour—it’s a fast track to wrecking your body and mind. Your brain, your skin, your gut, your immune system, and even your balls—all depend on quality sleep. So forget the hustle-culture nonsense. If you want to perform at your best, sleep like it’s part of your job.
